Triathletes are awesome, and we know it, but here are a few reasons why you should never date a triathlete. If you already are… good luck.
Related: A triathlete’s ideal date
We will eat all your food.
We do this shamelessly. We’re swimming, cycling and running, and sometimes we do this all in one day. When we come home from a long day of training, we end up eating everything in sight.
A night out isn’t a thing for us.
Friday night means an early bedtime, a good mix of carbs, protein, healthy fats and no alcohol. Saturday we have a long day on the bike, then a run session immediately after. Sunday we may have a swim and a coffee ride to stretch out our legs and get ready for another week of training.
Related: Why you should never date a cyclist
We smell like chlorine.
Face it, when you’re in the pool as much as us, you’re going to smell.
We spend all our money on gear and race entries.
Yes, I definitely needed those wheels, new kit, sunglasses, wetsuit, racing flats and a tri bike. Oh, and I’m going to be doing these races.
Our toenails are disgusting.
Hopefully, you’re not squeamish and like the colour black.
No free weekends.
We have plans – racing and training.
We talk about our weight, power numbers, diets, heart rate values, the latest gear and just about anything that proves what we’re doing is going to make us faster.
Triathlon is more than a hobby, it’s a lifestyle and we’re fully invested.
Don’t expect our company in the morning.
We’ll be in the pool, on the road or at the track if you need us.
We will call you for an emergency pick up when we have a mechanical.
Sorry, but we need a ride home. “Please come get me, I’m in between these two concession roads, in the middle of nowhere… Thanks, love you.”
The tan lines and shaved legs are a thing.
The tans lines are etched in our skin, so don’t complain when we wear normal clothes. And don’t be alarmed if your significant male other borrows your razor to shave his legs.
“Aero is everything”
It’s why we bought the ‘pointy’ helmet, the bike with the weird handlebars and why we shave our legs.
We think it would just be easier if you were a triathlete.
Then you’d just get it.